i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
The power of my boobs compel you
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Randomize
