They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
