my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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