I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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