Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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