how can u be prego again
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Randomize
