My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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