i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
And then my night got REAL pukey
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
