Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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