i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
