i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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