So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
