the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
