Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
