so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
