I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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