Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
He better not be in your backpack
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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