We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
