I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
