evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
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