So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
