and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
