Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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