The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
