this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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