Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
