absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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