He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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