found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
