Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
