i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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