I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
