I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
