So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
