At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
