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He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
