Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
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