He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
It's blow job season.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
