a queef is a wish your heart makes.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
How many fucks given?
0.12846
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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