Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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