I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
