And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
