i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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