Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
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