Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
