finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
