Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
