so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
