A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
