My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
