im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
