I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
